i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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