NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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