and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
