If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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