I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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