Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
