Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
