y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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