I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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