I bet he comes in French.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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