just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
