I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
