I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
