Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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