she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
