This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
