I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this just has baby written all over it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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