Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
