How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize