I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
