is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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