I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
