good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
