I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
