my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
