nutella sex= disaster
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
