dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
