Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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