Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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