i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
