I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize