I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
