Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
