there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
