I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
