I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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