Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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