we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
