Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
