Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
