somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
