I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
