At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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