oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
