i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Someone stole a lamp last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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