My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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