So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
