Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
