I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i dont even know how to be here
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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