Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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