Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize