i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
