yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
