Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
