just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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