It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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