I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
