Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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